


And One Day, This Won't Hurt Any More

by orphan_account



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Blood Loss, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Knife Wound, M/M, Trans Male Character, Very supportive boyfriend, minor injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28407834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A knife attack forces Willie to come out to Alex at the worst possible time. But Alex loves Willie too much to let a little thing like that ruin their relationship.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was a surprise. I'm planning to do a "write for a prompt every day" thing in January, and wrote the first part of this as a practice. But I knew every single reader would kill me twice if I didn't add a second scene to soften it up and add some comfort, so yesterday I wrote another 2500 words (what the actual fuck) and made it into more of a full story.
> 
> (Posted as two chapters for ~dramatic effect~ but don't worry, that is the whole story so there isn't a cliffhanger.)
> 
> Just to warn you all, I have no idea about tagging correctly and warning for all the necessary things, so please let me know if I've missed anything important and I'll add it in.

Willie staggers forwards, hands pressed firmly to his stomach, and eventually falls to knees on the grass. A pitiful cry comes out when he tries to scream, his chest too tight with panic to work normally, and Willie wonders if he’s going to die here, as the blood soaks through his shirt. But then he hears the sound of shoes slapping on concrete and Willie cheers weakly. Someone’s heard him, and thankfully they’re keen to come and help.

“Oh my God - Willie!” The guy crouches down in front of Willie and it takes a long minute to recognise Luke, one of Alex’s best friends and bandmates. “What happened - fuck, is that blood?”

“Yeah, I uh - I don’t even know, man.” Willie gasps and curls forward, the pain building as he talks. “Who even carries a knife in a public park?”

“It’s a knife wound? Someone stabbed you? Shit.” Luke shrugs his sleeveless hoody off and folds it roughly. “Right, we gotta get your shirt off, dude, and see how bad it is. And then you can hold this over the wound, to slow down the bleeding.”

With his head swimming from the adrenaline and blood loss, Willie can’t remember exactly why that’s a bad idea. The only thing he knows is that he can’t take his shirt off, and if Willie has to fight Luke off to stop him, then that’s what he’s gonna do. It may be tough, with his hands pressed to his body and every part of him shaking, but Willie knows he’ll find a way. He has to.

Except he doesn’t, because Luke grabs the front of Willie’s button up with both hands, and rips the two sides apart, flinging the buttons all over the place in the process. Only the top half opens, as Willie’s got his arms across the rest, but when he lifts them to push Luke away Luke grabs the bottom half and does the same, quickly finishing what he started. “Come on, man,” Luke says, pushing the shirt down over Willie’s shoulders. “I gotta take a look at-”

They both freeze at the same time, realising in the same moment what Willie was hiding - the scars from his recent top surgery. “I’m sorry I never told you - I never even told Alex,” Willie explains, taking the hoody Luke’s holding limply and pressing it to his wound with a gasp. “But yeah, man. I’m trans.”

Luke nods slowly, still staring at Willie with his eyes wide as he gets to his feet. “Yeah, I gotta - I just gotta - Hang on!”

Willie groans and tries to argue, but before he can say anything Luke’s gone, running back in the direction he came from. And, okay. Not everyone understands or accepts people being trans, but Willie had hoped he wouldn’t just be left to die when he’s this badly injured. Even worse is the fact Luke’s done this, Luke who’s so close to his boyfriend and treated him like a friend for the last six months.

With no one else around Willie forces himself to get one foot on the floor and slowly stand, gritting his teeth as the pain intensifies and his whole body sways dangerously. Just a few steps to the street, he tells himself, staring at the gate Luke disappeared through. Just get yourself out there, Willie, where someone’s more likely to see you and help. It’s just five steps, Willie insists as he looks at the distance, and now four, he adds, once he’s taken the first. You can do this, you can do this-

Alex appears out of nowhere and grabs hold of Willie, arms tight around his shoulders as his legs give out and he falls back towards the floor. Instead of hitting it painfully, though, Alex guides him down gently, until Willie’s lying on his back, staring up at Alex’s worried face.

Willie whimpers, too distracted by Alex seeing him like this to worry about the two sets of heavy footsteps that head towards them, along with a voice talking into a phone. “I’m so sorry, ‘Lex, know you wouldn’t want-”

“What the hell?” Luke says, more agitated than before. “I swear Willie was over there, closer to that tree when I left.” 

“Yeah, he probably was,” Alex says, stroking Willie’s hair. “The idiot was on his feet, staggering towards the gate when I got here.” He looks down and sighs heavily. “You’re bleeding heavily, dude - you need to stay still.”

“But Luke-”

“I went to get Alex and Reggie, that’s all. Reggie’s on the phone, getting an ambulance here, and Alex is gonna hold your hands,” Luke explains, removing Willie’s hands from the hoody and passing them up to Alex. “This is gonna hurt like hell, and I’m so sorry, but I gotta do it man.”

Luke presses down hard and Willie cries out, clutching onto Alex’s hands like his life depends on it. “Please, please don’t!” Willie begs, squirming around to try and get away from Luke. “You can’t - you can’t do this, I can’t take it-”

“You can, William.”

Willie stills and stares up at Alex. No one’s called him William before, his friends and family always using the shorter nickname for him instead. “Alex-”

“I can call you that, right?” Alex bites his lip, and Willie nods. “Good. Because I love you, William, and I know you’re so much stronger than you think. You always take care of me and help me out, no matter what you’re going through, so just-” Alex squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “So just do this for me? Because if you can’t be strong now I could lose you, and we both know I’d fall apart without you around.”

“What about-” Willie gasps, a sharp pain running through his abdomen. “What about me being trans?” He whispers, grateful his arms are crossed over his bare chest.

Alex grins, or at least Willie thinks he does. It’s not easy to tell when his face is upside down. “Well I’ve only known you as a guy, so I’m guessing you’ve been trans ever since we met? And I don’t really see how it changes anything now.”

“But you didn’t know-”

“And you didn’t know my parents bought me that house to get me out of theirs, because they didn’t want a gay man living under the same roof as them.” Alex rubs his thumbs over the back of Willie’s hands. “You didn’t know I still believe in God and follow Him, even after all my parents did to me in His name. And you didn’t know that I’m never free on Sunday mornings because I’ve got a new church, who accept me just the way I am.”

Willie laughs, then sobs heavily at the pain it causes. “That’s not the same, Alex - those aren’t big life changing things, not like-”

“Seriously, dude? You think now’s the time to have this argument?” Luke asks, shaking his head.

“Yes! Because how can Alex love someone like me? How can he love me now he knows what I am?” Willie yells, trying to pull his hands away from Alex. “I knew it was too good to be true, I knew he’d never stay once he found out - why’d you think I kept it a secret for so long?”

“I love you because I don’t care about that!” Alex yells back, his eyes screwed shut. Willie tugs on his hands again but Alex tightens his grip and shakes his head. “I don’t care what body you have, or what other people say or think. Because I care about the beautiful person who sends me a text every fucking night, asking whether I need him on the phone to get to sleep. I care about the way you learnt my coffee order after three visits, even though I have a large decaf with a single shot and low fat milk and three pumps of caramel syrup, which is the most complicated order ever, and you just recite it like it’s nothing, like it’s engraved on your brain.”

Alex’s voice was wavering before, but breaks as he carries on, talking over Luke as he tries to interrupt. “And I care about how you’ve worked so hard to get along with my friends, even though they’re the worst friends ever, and how you invited me to join you and your stepdad for Christmas, after just five weeks of dating, because you knew the alternative was me spending the day alone. I mean fuck, Willie.” Alex sobs, tears rolling down his face. “Have I really been such a bad boyfriend that I haven’t shown you how much you mean to me? Have I really not convinced you that I love you, as a whole person, and any details like being trans are great to know but not going to change how I feel about you?”

“But Alex, I-” Willie frowns, Alex’s face blurring before his eyes. “Alex?”

“Willie, we need you to stay awake,” Luke tells him, then lifts his head. “Reggie, how long on that ambulance? Willie’s not doing too good here.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to yell or upset you,” Alex says hurriedly, pulling Willie’s hands up to kiss them both. “Please, Willie - please. Just a bit longer, just until the ambulance gets here. Just stay with me, okay?”

Willie licks his lips, and the words slide out of his mouth before he can say them. “Alex?”

“No no no - Willie, please.” Alex whimpers, his tears dripping down off his face and onto Willie’s. “Hold on to me, okay? Hold on tight and don’t let me go.”

Rough jagged breaths escape as Willie stares up at Alex, blinking slowly. “Yeah, I can - yeah.”

There’s more yelling, and Alex cries out, and Willie holds on, as tight as he can. Time ticks by, maybe too slowly or maybe too fast, and eventually holding on isn't possible. Willie’s hands slip out of Alex’s sweaty ones and land with a thud on his own shoulders, keeping himself covered and hidden as he passes out, thinking of Alex’s love for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, how many of you would have hated me if I stopped there? Because seriously, that was going to be the end until I realised how painful that would be. But no, I am a good person and carried on and fixed it.
> 
> You're welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, the comfort half of this hurt/comfort fic.
> 
> One little warning, this takes place in hospital, so please don't read if that's an issue. The story also switches to Alex's point of view, although I think that's obvious from the start.

With just the steady beep of machines and a hum of conversation in the corridor breaking the silence, Alex starts to come back to reality, staring at the body in the bed. The doctors and nurses have all gone for now, leaving him alone with Willie, but Alex can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not. So much happened in the few hours between arriving at the hospital and the last nurse walking out, reassuring Alex she’d be back later to check on them, and he lost track of what they were saying. But for a moment Alex lets himself hope for the best. No one’s here panicking about Willie right now, apart from him, so the situation can’t be too bad.

“Hey, you okay there?” 

Alex turns and nods to the young man who comes in, wearing a nurse’s uniform. “Well, kind of.”

The nurse goes to the other side of the bed and starts making notes, checking details on the screen, so Alex doesn’t bother him with any more talking. It could be really important, what he’s doing, and Alex doesn’t want to interrupt or distract him and find it causes problems for Willie later.

The silence and lack of information give Alex all he needs to start spiralling, his thoughts running away as he stares at his boyfriend, looking so small and weak in the big hospital bed. Alex never thought Willie could look like that, having always seen him as such a bold personality and a confident, carefree person, and it terrifies him to see Willie like this now. The injury must be serious, given how long Willie’s been unconscious and all the tubes and wires and machines attached to him, and Alex wonders if Luke and Reggie will find Willie’s stepdad and get him here in time before Willie passes away, or whether Alex will be here alone, whimpering and crying by himself as he begs Willie to hold on, to not leave him like this.

A sharp screech drags Alex out of his head, and he blinks and rubs his face as the nurse puts his chair beside Alex’s and takes a seat. “Sorry about that, I-”

“Are you Alex?”

Alex narrows his eyes at the nurse. “Do I know you?”

“You don’t but I met Willie, when he was here back in March, and he told me a lot about his boyfriend.” The nurse grins and gestures to Alex’s chest. “Given that there’s a blonde guy with a fanny pack sat here having a panic attack, exactly like Willie described you, I guessed it must be Alex.”

“Oh - okay.” Alex taps out a beat on his legs, not sure what to say next. “Um, so what happens now? With Willie, I mean. I’m sure someone told me, but-”

“No, that’s okay - it was pretty crazy, getting Willie sorted, so I wouldn’t expect you to keep up with everything that was said and done.” The nurse offers Alex a hand and he takes it, holding tightly as he prepares himself for the worst. “So Willie needs a few nights in hospital, to rest and recover, but it was mostly his body going into shock. The actual wound is fairly shallow and clean, and it’s been sewn up and dressed, so now it just needs a few weeks to heal. And he can do that at home, as long as someone keeps an eye on him and he gets plenty of rest, so we won’t keep him in for long.”

Alex frowns and lifts his other hand to stop the nurse. “But you’re-” Alex doesn’t understand, because this is the opposite of what he expected. “Are you saying he’s gonna be okay?”

The nurse smiles and nods. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“That’s not - okay.” Alex takes a deep breath, then another, and on the third finally breaks down, crying from all the emotion inside him. “But he passed out, so quickly, and there was so much blood and-”

The nurse grabs Alex’s other hand and shakes him, the movement enough to get his attention. “Willie has a six inch cut on his abdomen - that is big and will bleed a lot, even if it’s not deep or dangerous. And as I said, he still hasn’t fully recovered from the surgery - not on the inside, in the ways you can't see. So his body couldn’t cope with another wound and panicked about losing more blood and he passed out but, seriously. There's no major damage and Willie is gonna be okay, Alex. I can promise you that.”

Alex squeezes the nurse’s hands and cries, the relief that Willie is now safe overwhelming everything else. Willie’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and Alex would have been devastated if he lost him. Finding out he will be okay and they can still be together fills Alex with joy, washing away all the fears from before and leaving space in him to once again have hope for the future.

A soft groan from the bed catches Alex’s attention, and he glances over to find Willie frowning, his hand rested on his stomach. With the oxygen mask over his face Alex can’t tell what he says but Willie mumbles something and groans again, and the nurse goes over to check on him.

“Willie, it’s Joe - remember me?”

With another groan Willie rolls his head to the side and smiles weakly at Joe.

“You’re back in hospital, Willie. Someone attacked you with a knife, remember?” Willie shakes his head, frowning at the idea and Joe smiles at him. “Well that’s what happened. But we’ve stitched you back up and looked after you and it’s all going to be fine, so don’t worry. Just lie back and relax, and I’ll come and see you again later.”

Willie nods so Joe heads for the door and Alex thanks him as he passes. “Don’t try and start a conversation or anything,” Joe says, turning back as he reaches the door. “He won’t really be awake for a while yet, so wait until he speaks first. For now soothing noises or reassurances are your best bet.”

Alex agrees and, once Joe’s gone, moves his chair over to the bed. Willie’s still got his hand on his stomach and Alex rests his over the top, tucking his fingers between Willie’s to hold it.

“S’at you, ‘Lex?” Willie asks, gazing vaguely in Alex’s direction. “Sorry, ‘Lex. So sorry-”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here with you, William.” Willie hums happily at the name, and Alex manages a small smile. “Just rest for now, okay? I’m gonna stay with you, so relax and let me do the worrying.”

Willie nods, slowly blinking at Alex as the machines beep steadily around them.

Alex keeps watching him, even when Willie looks around the room and gradually acknowledges what’s going on, until Willie looks at him again, this time more alert and focusing on Alex’s face. By then Alex is worrying about what he needs to say, the one thing that’s been clawing at the back of his mind ever since Luke came running up to them, yelling that Willie was hurt and they needed to help him, and he stares down at his clenched fist as he tries to pull the words together.

“Hey there, hotdog.”

Willie’s pulled his mask down and smiles at Alex when he looks up, but that disappears as soon as they make eye contact. “Oh this - okay.” He sighs and rolls his eyes, and Alex squeezes his hand, not sure what’s going on. “Yeah, I kinda knew it was coming, so-”

“Wait, no - I’m not breaking up with you,” Alex tells him. Willie huffs and turns away, and Alex’s heart stutters painfully in his chest. “I’m not!”

“Well why are you so stressed and fidgeting then?” Willie asks, shooting Alex a wounded look. “And why did you look away as soon as I caught your eye before? There’s gotta be something, Alex. Even you don’t get this worked up over nothing.”

Alex closes his eyes and breathes slowly, giving himself time to calm down before he replies. Ideally they wouldn’t do this now, when they’re both upset and emotional and quick to react, without thinking things through, but Alex knows Willie won’t let it drop. And honestly Alex doesn’t want to stay quiet and pretend it’s okay, because he has to know.

The one thing Alex can do is control the pace and keep an eye on Willie, to make sure his breathing and heartrate don’t get affected by the conversation, so he sneaks a quick glance at the screen before he speaks. It all looks good, the same as when Joe came in, so Alex carefully says, “I can’t stop thinking about the fact you didn’t tell me you’re trans. And I know - I know you thought I wouldn’t love you, but.” Alex shakes his head, not liking the idea. “But I still don’t get it.”

Willie groans and his eyes slip shut. “Can you gimme a minute to think about that?” He asks quietly.

The words sound so unlike Willie that Alex blanches, shocked by how much this is affecting his boyfriend. “Yeah, sure,” He finally says, giving Willie’s hand a squeeze. “Take as long as you need.”

Silence hangs uncomfortably between them, for the first time since they met on the beach, and Alex doesn’t like it, at all. Willie is an amazing guy and has nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about, and Alex hates the fact that someone’s made him feel this way about himself. 

“My mom couldn’t accept it.”

Alex nods, because he can relate to that.

“No - it’s not like your parents,” Willie explains, staring out the window rather than look at Alex as he speaks. “She didn’t hate me for being different, or think it was disgusting or unnatural. She just denied it and said I was a girl, that I would always be a girl, and she always called me by my birthname, no matter how many times we talked about it or how upset I got.” Willie screws his eyes up and the first tears trickle down his cheeks. “We spent nearly a year constantly fighting about it, every single time we talked. Even when I got counselling - because she thought it was all in my head, and therapy could fix me - and the lady told her it was true, that I should be a boy, she just denied it.”

Rather than interrupt Alex shifts his hand to hold Willie’s tightly. Willie gasps and glances over, his eyes wide and lip trembling, and Alex nods. When Willie’s ready to say more, he’s ready to listen.

“My stepdad didn’t get involved - he said it was between me and Mom - until he found out I’d seen a professional who agreed with me, and she was still denying it.” Willie’s started sounding breathless, so Alex checks the monitor. One of the numbers has changed to 95, so he puts the mask back on Willie, just for a few breaths, to get it back up to 100. “Caleb was away at the time when I saw Chrissie so that was three weeks later, I think. Three or four.”

“Maybe we should talk about this later,” Alex says, stroking Willie’s cheek to catch his tears. “You need to rest, and this can wait.”

“Please - no, please,” Willie begs, clutching at Alex’s hand with both of his. “It won’t take long, and I really need you to understand this. Please,” He repeats, his voice breaking. “Just let me tell you this.”

Alex reluctantly agrees, and strokes some of the hair back from Willie’s face. “So Caleb found out, and-?”

“And he threw her out.”

“Hang on,” Alex says, because he needs to be sure he understood that right. “Your stepdad threw your mom out, because she couldn’t accept you’re a boy?”

Willie chuckles weakly and nods. “I mean, I was the same - I couldn’t believe it, and went to start packing. But I took two steps and suddenly Caleb goes, “Not you, Willie. I meant your mom.” And I just.” Willie chuckles again and Alex laughs too, glad to hear his boyfriend sound happy again. “After she was gone I asked, why was taking my side when he was married to my mom? And he said he knew other trans people, and he hadn’t been sure if it was a phase for me or like, permanent, but if a professional had spoke to me and agreed it was best for me to live as a boy, then he’d support that.”

Alex laughs softly, because that’s amazing.

“I did have to ask him what trans meant, though,” Willie admits, an embarrassed grin on his face. “Come on - I was 12. I didn’t know anything about the community, or that other people were like me. I just knew I was a boy, and I should be called Willie, and all I wanted was for my family and friends to know that.”

“Okay.” Alex tries to move the mask back up but Willie stops him. “Can you just wear it for a minute, while I’m talking?” He asks, using the pout and puppy dog eyes that always make Julie give in to Luke. “Please? For me?”

Willie agrees, smiling at Alex as he settles the mask back in the right place.

“I get it now, why that was so hard for you,” Alex says, stroking Willie’s face just because he can. “For your mom to deny it like that, I - I can’t even imagine what that’s like. But I really do love you, William.” Willie groans and blushes, but also grins so Alex doesn’t feel too guilty about it. “And I love you as a whole person, not just this or that, and that love won’t change, I promise. So please don’t worry about it any more. I won’t be going anywhere - not because you’re trans, or because you put the peanut butter knife in the jelly, or because you’ve stolen all my best socks. Although the sock thing is so annoying,” Alex adds, pretending to be serious about it. “And I will be taking back the ones with bananas on just as soon as I find them.”

A burst of laughter from Willie quickly turns into sobs, and Alex stands up to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. “We’re gonna be okay, you and me,” He whispers into Willie’s hair, then presses a kiss to the top of his head. “You're gonna get through this and be okay, and I’ll be here every step of the way, holding you and loving you, even when it’s hard and it hurts.”

Later they’ll talk more, and talk properly about their feelings and fears and pasts, both in the hospital and for weeks after, whispering to each other in bed at night, or sharing secrets on the beach, or curled up together in a coffee shop. They’ll also talk about hope, and share dreams and plans for the future, and one day Willie confesses he’s seen a ring, a beautiful gold one with a pink stone. And even though it’s way too soon and neither of them are ready for real commitment, Alex will buy it and hide it on a high shelf, for when the right day comes.

But in that moment in the hospital, Alex simply holds Willie close, to be sure he knows that he is loved.


End file.
